Forgiveness

The issue of forgiveness is always a tough one. First and foremost let me say that forgiveness is for you, not the person that harmed you in some way. When we harbor feelings of hatred, guilt or resentment, it does nothing but harm us.

A good quote that I remember from my past is, "Lack of forgiveness is holding on to a burning coal despite the hurt, in the hopes that it is burning and hurting someone else."--Kevin Everett FitzMaurice

Having said that, I do not feel that forgiveness equals tolerance. We can forgive someone of the wrong they have committed, but we do not have to tolerate the continued behavior in our lives. And sometimes we have to love people from a distance. I do not think that God calls us to tolerate injustices in our lives!

Forgiveness is a process. And like any process, we will sometimes take two steps forward and three steps back. But we don't stop, we keep moving forward. Some wrongs are so heavy that forgiveness can be a long journey. Again, the forgiveness is for you, not the other person, so it must be worked towards for healing to occur. Jesus knew the power of forgiveness; the power it gives you, not the person that hurt you. In some cases, we harbor these feelings of resentment and the other person has no idea we even feel this way. Jesus knew the damage those emotions can cause the soul which is why he urges us to forgive. We forgive, because we have been forgiven.

If you're dealing with an issue such as this, I invite you to seek a trusted friend with whom to share your troubles. There is also a loving group of Stephen Ministers at COS that can help listen and provide a ministry of presence for people struggling with issues of forgiveness.